


Little Birdie Knows (But He Doesn't Tell Because It's Not His F***ing Business)

by HisaHiru



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Comedy, Humor, M/M, Masturbation, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-10-24 14:38:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17706143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HisaHiru/pseuds/HisaHiru
Summary: Usually, he wasn’t able to admit it out loud but now there was nobody other than him. He could speak clearly and nobody would hear it; the wall of their rented room was thick enough for them not to hear the ongoing conversation of their neighbor.“I’m gonna masturbate.”The boys are all having a break in Lestallum. Ignis is out buying groceries. Noctis is out looking for a new fishing rod. Gladio is out to the bookstore. Prompto? Inside their shared room, alone, playing all by himself. By playing, he means the solo kind of play. The single-player mode kind of game. One joystick for the whole ride kind of game. With toys, but nobody has to know. Ooh... how fast the shit hits the fan.





	Little Birdie Knows (But He Doesn't Tell Because It's Not His F***ing Business)

**Author's Note:**

> Soo... another one I was working in since I have a write block most of the time. Well, might as well post it.  
> I was planning for this to be a one-shot kind of thing but I think making it into 2 parts is a better choice, especially with how random I find my inspiration and such. 
> 
> Anyway, this is a naughty humor kind of story so don't think about this so seriously? I'm so sure there are lots of typos or grammatical error but let's just all have fun, okay? Enjoooyy

It wasn’t a luxury he often found himself in, Prompto knew.

Hours ago, they had just arrived at Lestallum and decided to crash before departing for another quest. Apparently, they had enough funds to last them a while and rent more than a room for four grown men. Ignis actually agreed to spend their hard earned gil for two rooms, for more than a simple night rest even. They were to stay for about 2 or 3 days because Noctis had asked Ignis, begging even, to let them take it easy for a couple days.

They’ve had it rough lately, after all.

Two quests back, they had to face a hoard of Saberclaws that had been threatening the farmers. They had expected to come out with hundreds of scratches, nothing a simple splash of potion wouldn’t heal. What they hadn’t predicted was that moments before they dealt the finishing blow, a Magitech Engine just had to make an appearance and gave them one hell of a problem to deal with. And of course, a wild Coeurl just had to come out when they got only two more MTs to put down.

In the end, they had to use about 3 phoenix dawns.

Two of them for Prompto.

Oh, the embarrassment.

And four quests back, when they had to hunt the daemons that had been terrorizing the resident of Old Lestallum… Right, daemons only came out at night. So they waited.

They were to give a real beating to a group of Goblins, maybe an extra effort should an Imp or two decided to join the fray. What they didn’t expect was for a whole bunch of Thunderbombs to appear and mess everything up. And right when the last Thunderbomb was about to be eliminated, a nasty glob of black mist appeared out of thin air and there came the Blue Giant, At least it wasn’t a Red Giant. But who cared!?

Their curatives were already down to 2 and by the time they finished their hunt, Ignis had to literally drag him all the way to the nearest haven while Gladio carried Noctis on his back. And by dragging, he actually meant pulling him by his legs with his body leaving a long line of muddy trail on the ground. Of course, Prompto was giving one hell of a protest, albeit quite incoherent. But yep, he was on the losing side. Ignis broke one of his arm, his left one to be precise, and bruised one or two of his ribs. It was a tad better than Gladio had actually broke 3 of his ribs, his nose, and twisted his right pinky.

Noctis had a concussion from the hard strike the Blue Giant. It wasn’t exactly life threatening but everything seemed 10 times worse when they were stranded in the middle of the dark, away from the Regalia and civilization. Oh, and Prompto twisted his ankle. He got lucky it seemed. But he was also bruised and there was this painful looking burnt mark one of the Thunderbombs left as a parting give.

Meany asshole.

Things started to get better in the morning when they were able to get enough rest, walking back to the spot they parked the Regalia and later picked up their payment.

Now that he thought about it, five quests back, they were also-…

Okay, enough with the reminiscing. To put it bluntly, they were all tired as fuck and totally deserved a long-awaited break. They had managed to gather enough money to just take it easy for a while. Heck, Ignis even gave each of them some money to spent of their leisure time. It wasn’t all that much per se, but it was enough to buy some things and have fun.

Gladio was the first one to leave the hotel so early in the morning-… okay, close to noon. They were all taking their times rolling on top of their separated bed, relishing the comfort of real mattress beneath their back after all this time sleeping on their ground. Ignis was the first to get up but even by then the sun was already high.

So yeah, Gladio left to hunt down some babes, and maybe stroll around town. He also said something about wanting to buy a new sword or something, but Prompto knew it was all bullshit. He bet Gladio was just gonna jump into the nearest bookstore to look for the newest chapter of his romance novel series. Heck, he might look like a total brute but his heart was quite soft on the inside. Remind him again not to judge a book by its cover.

Ignis was next. He was going on a culinary adventure to find good ingredients for their meal tonight. Prompto seriously couldn’t wait for him to come up with his newest recipe and gave it a taste test. Oh, he was also mentioning that there was this bazaar in town that was selling new kitchen set that he just had to get.

Noctis followed soon after. He was asking Prompto if he would like to join him to go somewhere but Prompto refused, saying he wanted to just spend his day off in bed and just lazy around this time. Noctis shrugged and left it at that. He did say he would come back later around the evening, thinking about looking for a new fishing like and rod. Prompto waved him goodbye and then he was the only one left.

He waited for a couple minutes to past before shoving his blanket aside and strolled toward his bag. He was alone. This was not something he could have daily. Heck, it had been weeks even since he got a ‘me’ time, all for himself. The room they rented was nice and big, but they had to share it together even with separated beds.

Like, it’s okay. They were all adult, they knew their priority and they knew they couldn’t ask for more when they had been given enough to feel comfortable. But being an adult also came with a certain need. A need to be understood, a need of a way to release all those pent-up urges…

A need for sexual release.

 

 

_What?_

 

 

It wasn’t like he could just rub one out when the dudes were all there. That would be awkward, not to mention weird for bros to catch one another jacking off. Right? Well… Whatever. In any case, now he had the whole room all up himself. And he wasn’t gonna just waste it by doing something like just lazing around. Fuck lazing around! Usually he wasn’t able to admit it out loud but now there was nobody other than him. He could speak clearly and nobody would hear it; the wall of their rented room was thick enough for them not to hear the ongoing conversation of their neighbor.

“I’m gonna masturbate.”

So, he did.

Inside his bag, he carried a lot of things ranged from clothes to hair gel, from a wrist band to small towel… It wasn’t weird for him to bring one or two extra things with him to have fun when the situation presented itself. He wasn’t able to bring it out all that often since the thing was kinda private and… would totally cause a thing should the other saw it.

From his bag he pulled a small egg like motor device with a slim remote control. Even from a momentary glimpse over the thing anyone could easily guess what it was. Yep, it was a massager. Of prostate. Fuck, it was a vibrator, okay? Everyone had different taste and using one was just a way to get himself off. Like, it wasn’t his fault he found this one way to be the most pleasing one to have fun with himself.

Right, having a monologue with himself would just waste the limited time he had.

So yeah, he pulled a lotion from inside his bad and brought it along with his bright yellow vibrator to his bed. He laid the necessary device down the sheets and took the time to prepare all of the other necessary things, in case things got messy. He took a towel from the bathroom and laid it down his bed. Having to sleep on a wet bed tonight would be uncomfortable, so yeah, just in case.

“Ooh, right. The door, that was close,” he perked up, quickly rushing to the door and locked it twice just for precaution.

There. The preparation was completed. Now to just straight to the action.

He went to the bed and shed his pants, pulling his boxer off his ankle and lain it on the edge of the bed. He then placed himself on the bed and gathered his pillow so he could comfortably rest his back against the cushioned headboard. His next move came easily as his body was moving purely by memory. He spread his legs, blushing a little as he felt himself being exposed to the whole world to see. There was nobody there to watch him but sitting there with his private parts laid bare just seemed… vulgar.

Well, being embarrassed wasn’t wrong. It wasn’t gonna stop him either.

Prompto grabbed the bottle of lotion and gathered the sticky liquid in his hand, coating his fingers with the clear bubble gum tasted gel (wacky choice, he knew) and guided his fingers to his entrance. The gel was kinda cold and he flicked when his fingers made contact with the sensitive skin down there. He didn’t really have the time to warm it up, nor did he want to spend any more time doing something that would be pointless soon after. So he took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down. It would get warm soon enough.

To distract himself, his free hand started to wander toward his chest. He slid his shirt up and raked it up close to his neck. The cold air bit his skin and got his nipples all stiff, aside from the arousal he felt. He bit his lower lip and lit his nail grazed upon his perky right nipple. The very same moment, he jerked up and stifled a gasp. The sensation… it had been so long. The shiver traveled down his spine and shook his knee a little bit.

It wasn’t enough.

“Mmhh… mm…” the mere graze turned into a rub and knead. His nipple was rolled between his fingers, while his other hand as busy getting all familiar with his slowly relaxing sphincter. Prompto’s other nipple was starting to get lonely and he changed side, going straight to pinch the left one and gave it a little twist.

There was pain, but it was nothing compared to the pleasure he felt.

It had been so long.

Feeling a little braver, Prompto increased the pressure he had on his ass and felt the resistance giving up. His could describe the moment his middle finger breached his entrance, how the muscle gripped it tight to keep it still and yet also pulling it in deeper. He slid his finger deeper down to his knuckle and let it stay there, giving his ass a chance to adjust.

A small tug here and there and he was ready for the second one. Having two fingers inside his ass was harder, of course. But it was worth it as he was now able to scissor himself. He felt himself gaping as his fingers spreading his hole up, the muscle twitching to close up but there was no real struggle. His nipple was starting to feel a bit sore from the twisting but Prompto was nothing but determined. He changed tactic, not for the better but who cared now when the pleasure was greater.

He gritted his teeth and he pinched his right nipple and gave it a hard tug. He felt his chest raised to the air from the sudden pull. The pain-… But it felt good! The sudden sensation seemed to make him lose it for a bit because next thing he knew, his ring finger had also been nested inside his rectum. He felt full, oh so full. But it wasn’t enough.

He needed more.

So Prompto gave his ass a couple more tests and worked fast. His ass was loosening up real good and he knew the time had come. He grinned as he let his fingers slipped own of his hole, now open and begging to be filled. Prompto glanced over his side and pulled the egg-shaped vibrator toward him. He eyes it for a bit, this one was the kind he had been using since the time before they departed for Altissia. While it was familiar and able to bring him to the brim successfully all this time, he couldn’t assure himself that it would be enough this time.

And so, this was where the newest addition to his collection came in.

Well, he had only two now since his other toys had now laid down to rest beneath the rubble of Insomnia. May they rest in peace, for all their duty to please Prompto had been performed satisfyingly.

Anyway, Prompto bounced back toward his bag and shoved his yellow egg toy in only to pull out a bigger one. This was the one he had bought in their previous stop-… or was it 2 or 3 months ago when they-… Okay, no time. This one was black; he usually preferred a more vibrant color but a change of scenery was always nice. Not exactly the right term but whatever.

It was also bigger, not by much but enough to give him a second thought.

No turning back now, though.

“Here goes nothing…”

So he went back to the bed. He coated the toy from the very top to the bottom, adding an extra layer of gel just to make sure it would have little trouble going in. After he was sure it was enough, he put it for a good use. He guided the toy toward his hole and gave it a gentle push.

Yep, it was big. His ass was giving quite a resistance there but Prompto couldn’t just give up now. He increased the pressure and started to feel the muscle giving in. It wasn’t enough. He pushed harder… harder… harder-…

“Why-… won’t you… get… in-… OHHH!!” he hadn’t calculated how much strength he should put into his hand. The toy slipped into his ass, spreading the muscle wide like a tunnel, before fully resting behind the closed hole. His ass had successfully swallowed the toy but he couldn’t get his body to work just yet. His cock twitched, now half erect from all the stimulus it had received indirectly. “Nghh… Fuuhhh… ‘kay… Okay…”

He was trembling he knew, but damn. This thing was awesome. He gonna have to give it a good name later when he finished. He tried to shift a little bit but the toy grazed his prostate deliciously he couldn’t hold back a moan. He bit his lip and started to work on his aching cock, apologizing to it for making it feels neglected. Little Prompto needed some loving too.

It took some time for him to adapt to the girth of the huge egg, not to mention how deep it seemed to get in him. But soon it wasn’t enough to just enjoy the sensation of being filled. He wanted something more. He had been deprived of such pleasure for so long, he just wanted to get his share for those times he couldn’t even get enough to feel good in the restroom.

And so he brought up the remote. One hand jacking his proudly standing erection, the other clicking the power button to bring the machine to live. It didn’t come to mind that maybe, just maybe, he should have made sure the strength of the vibration was set on the lowest point. By the time he realized it was too late. The strength had been set on the highest and the time it turned on, the same time Prompto could see only white.

He didn’t even realize he was screaming.

When he came to, he could only see the ceiling up above him and moan. His voice sounded broken. His while body was twitching and not even a single muscle would follow his instruction. The toy inside him kept buzzing. It was supposed to feel good but as he soon realized he had cum from the shock of being fucked silly, the sensation was unpleasant. It felt kinda hurt as he was still awfully sensitive.

“Mmhh… R-remote-…! W-whe-aaaahh-…! Where’s the re-… ‘ote…” he whined, his saliva started to droll down his chin. He turned his head sideways to look at his hand, the one who had gripped the remote moments before he blacked out-… Whited out-… whatever.

It wasn’t there.

It was nowhere.

“N-no way-… Mnghh-…!!” Prompto cried pitifully and started to roll over toward the edge of the bed. He must have dropped the remote when he got shocked, it might fell over. Fuck, he had to get it back if he wanted to make this fucking black ball stop buzzing. Ugh, forget nickname, he gonna put this on a lock down for a long while.

He was just thankful for the Astrals above that the other was not here.

But of course, the Astrals hated him. Big middle fingers to them.

“Prompto?” Ignis voice sneaked through the small gap of the locked door. Prompto froze like a deer in headlight. He hadn’t expected that. Fuck. “Could you please open the door, I have my hands full at the moment.”

Oh. Fuck. No way. He was too early.

If it wasn’t for him being the one at the position he was in, he might would have found the situation funny. He swore he could feel the blood drained from his face and his legs started to lose its strength. This was a nightmare. This couldn’t be real. Oh Astrals, please have mercy!

“Prompto, are you inside?” the handle rattled but never fully turned. Damn, what should he do? There was no way-… Fuck. Fuck. FUCK.

“Y-yeah, I’m inside! J-just wait a minute-…!” Prompto tried his best to move around, to do anything to have his body work with him. He was still weak from such a forceful orgasm, he wasn’t ready to have another crazy ride down the adrenaline line.

Ignis voice was muffled but he could hear it clear enough. “… Are you okay? You sound a bit… constipated.”

Oh, if only he knew. Constipated was putting it lightly. “I’m okay! P-perfect, thanks for aah-… asking!” he gasped. No, he couldn’t give up now. If only he could push the toy out-… Damn it, his abdomen muscle refused to contract. He couldn’t bring himself to put his muscle to work as every clench he gave made the toy mess with his inside even harder.

He had to move. The bed wasn’t all that wide. If he could just throw himself sideways he would be able to get to the edge and grab the remote to turn the toy off, that was if the remote really was on that side of the bed. “Ghh… Do or die time, then.”

As stupid as he was, he hadn’t predicted it would come to this. He actually threw his whole weight and launched himself toward the side of the bed. He flew and missed his landing by a few centimeters, no big deal. The real trouble started when he landed on the wrong part of his body. Namely… his ass. He swore he blacked out for the second time.

“Prompto!! Prompto, are you alright?!” Ignis was now pounding the door. What happened to having his arms full? “Prompto, I’m coming in, okay?!”

What?

“W-wait-…! Iggy, don’t-…!”

Too late.

The locked door was not enough to hold Ignis back, especially when he was being fueled by worry of his friend’s wellbeing. The look on Ignis’ face was pure fright, like he was scared he was too late by the time he got inside. The door slammed open, its’ hinges more or less ruined by the sudden brute strength it withstood.

Ignis was looking around frantically until his eyes landed on Prompto. And then he froze.

“ _Kill me now_ ,” Prompto moaned. He was leaning over the bed, fingers gripping the messy blanket awkwardly as his muscle wouldn’t stop twitching. He made an extra effort to save himself from the embarrassment but he couldn’t gather enough strength to pull the blanket down to cover what little remain of his dignity.

And the damn toy hadn’t stopped moving.

“Prom-… Wha-… Are you-… Did-…” It was one of the few time Prompto had ever heard Ignis lost, couldn’t form even one full sentence. It was supposed to be funny, dammit. He wanted to cry instead now.

Prompto scanned the area around him, just now realizing he hadn’t found the remote just yet. As he continued his exploration, Ignis found it in him to spare his friend some dignity and closed the ruined door behind him. He didn’t forget to bring in what remained of his purchase, some of it were all mushed up when he dropped and trampled it to crash through the door.

“May… I ask what you are doing?” Ignis at last knew what to say.

The blonde whimpered. “I caa – aahh-… Can’t f-find the remote-…!” Prompto managed to say between panted breath. “P-please Iggy…!”

That sounded wrong. Oh Ramuh, that sounded so wrong! Thankfully Ignis refused to acknowledge how misleading the last part sounded like and managed to piece two and two together to form a conclusion. He sighed and turned his face away, saving Prompto from extra embarrassment, as he paced toward the other side of the bed. He bent down and came up with something Prompto was familiar with.

One click of a button later and Prompto could breathe normally. At least as close as what normal could be after having two strong orgasm in a row.

If only that was the end of it.

Ignis sighed out loud, the sound of disappointment and exhaustion mixing into one simple gesture, and sat on top of his bed next to Prompto’s. It didn’t seem like he could look straight at Prompto’s face after what had happened. It was awkward as hell. It wasn’t like Prompto wanted to him to, as well. Heck, he himself was having a totally hard time being in the same room with someone who had seen him at his worst. Heh, ‘hard’…

He wanted to cry.

“So-…” Ignis gritted his teeth and rubbed his forehead with his middle fingers. His glasses were fogged due to him sighing for God knew how many times. “I assume… It’s… I don’t know what to say, Prompto.”

“Heh, neither do I, dude. Trust me, if anyone is feeling bad right now, it’s totally me,” he laughed remorsefully. “Fuck…”

“J-just… Make sure you’re…” Ignis still looked lost. Poor guy. “I assume… it’s still in there?”

Prompto winced. “Yeah…” he could start to feel his ass got sore. Even now that the vibration had stopped, the feeling of having his sensitive prostate being grazed made him twitch. It was pain and pleasure in one simple touch. Now he felt like a total pervert.

Ignis gestured toward the bathroom. “So… Go ahead,” he said. Prompto nodded, silently giving his thanks to the man for not bothering to make a bigger deal of things. He seriously thought he was gonna have his ears torn off by long lectures from Ignis. He should’ve given the man a break. “We can talk about this later when you’ve gotten that-… thing… out of-…” he simply waved his hand, couldn’t bring himself to say the word out loud.

“Riiight…” Fuck.

So Prompto wasted no time and went straight to the bathroom. Well, more like wobbling to the bathroom. He couldn’t run, for Ramuh’s sake! His legs felt like jelly and his ass felt like it had been all shuffled up by a voretooth-… Okay, no. No mental image, Goddammit! If Prompto closed the door a little bit too hard, Ignis didn’t give any comment and Prompto couldn’t bring himself to apologize. Because goddamn…

Okay, breathe.

He was all alone inside the bathroom and he could hear Ignis strolled outside, probably salvaging what little he could from his all mushed up groceries. Poor Iggy… No, poor him. Poor Prompto, now was the time to feel sorry for himself because damn he deserved it! As if having his fun time interrupted wasn’t enough, now he had to deal with a special mental trauma of having one of his friends walked on him jerking it off-… Well, no, not exactly jerking off; more like-…

WHO CARED WHAT IT WAS, HE WAS SO EMBARASSED!!

Anyway, enough with the pity party. He gotta deal with this quickly before Noctis and Gladio decided to end their day earlier and add more fuel to the fire. Having Ignis in this mess was more than enough, he didn’t need the other two to know and add their opinion to the matter at hand. So yeah, time for the black egg to go. Their time together was short but it was more than enough.

He wasn’t even sure he would be able to use it for the second time.

So, he did what he usually did. He squatted on the tiled floor, taking a deep breath and slowly pushing the toy out of his canal. The first push did nothing, that was fine. He tried again… and again… and again… one more time for extra measure.

He switched position.

And then another push.

He tried to put his fingers inside, feeling around to see if he could just scoop it out.

No such luck.

Another push.

Another one.

Again…

Fuck. No. No way. Oh Six, no way. This was, like, the worse possible case that could happen. How in the world did every fucked-up thing-… heh, fucked– NO NO NO NO, FOCUS!! Oh my God, he couldn’t get the toy out! Oh Shiva’s sweet ass, he couldn’t! He tried again and again until he was close to crying because what was he supposed to do?! He was so fucking frustrated because each push he did, the toy only slid down a little only to went back to its original spot the moment he let up.

Ahhh… fuck.

Just kill him.

He wanted to di–

“Prompto?” Ignis voice called from behind the door followed with a couple soft knock. “You’ve been in there for quite a while. Is everything alright?”

“Um… Well…” Prompto wasn’t sure how to break it down for his poor friend. “So… Like, it seems… the-… the toy is kinda stuck…?”

There was no immediate response from Ignis and that was quite worrying. Prompto was about to ask what was wrong when Ignis all of a sudden replied with the softest voice he had ever heard in all their time traveling together.

“ _Ifrit’s flaming ass._ ”

Yep. Fucked.


End file.
